Pttssscchh.

-420:

cheeecawgoo c:

(via dearprongs)

Pass

Just another thing that’s been on my mind - I realised that, if I were to face the loss of a life, or just the loss of something that means too much to me, I don’t think I’d be able to deal with it.

Let’s face it - I’ve never had to deal with the passing of anyone close before (touchwood). With the exception of my paternal granddad when I was four, when I probably spent more time wondering how I could squeeze some tears out because everyone else was crying.

And then recently I realised that it’d only be a matter of time before I learnt how to. To put it bluntly, it’d only be a matter of a few years. With my dog turning 10 this year, my grandma getting hospitalised over a minor bout of flu, and even the silliest thing like the blanket I’ve had every night for the last 15 years hanging by a few threads before it tears into two, I realised that soon I’d have to face what I’ve fortunately avoided all these years.

The mere thought of having to dispose of my blanket tears me apart. I can’t imagine what I’m going to have to deal with when the inevitable happens. I can’t understand how anyone could have go through this twice - of both their parents, and I can’t see how life is going to be like after them.

If thinking about this kills me, what would happen when it’s no longer something I’m just thinking about?

In retrospect

These days I find myself battling with logic and opinion (when I’m not with my books) - on whether my point of view certain things is valid, calculated, and justified, or if they’re just merely a shallow generalisation of issues I think I know when I don’t. It’s not so much of being reduced to the likes of the rest of the people around me who admit it, follow the opinion of most others or choose not to take a side, but more so knowing that my take is one worthy of its place because it has not been carelessly formed, and loosely voiced out.

I’m just thinking maybe, just maybe, one day we’ll all learn not to trivialise the significant and dramatise the superficial.

Mental note

Cheesecake,

Cupcakes,

Cheesecake,

Cupcakes.

After the exams.

-cityoflove:

Edinburgh, Scotland via JetSet Photographs

(via playinghurt)

"Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart."

Adrian Tan (via followandreblog)

(via aimlessdrifter)

(Source: pierre-boulangers, via playinghurt)

Exam Woes: Part 3.2

I can’t quite believe I’m finishing my third year - my friends are graduating (I feel like I am as well), I’ve only one semester left and I’ll soon be facing the perils of the working world.

Not so worried about that actually, I’m more worried about not being worried that I’m not studying my ass off like I did since I came back from exchange when exams are already here. And by here, I mean, tomorrow. And the day after. And I even have time to squeeze in a trip to USS with my mom next week, daydream about my pseudo-grad trip, do research on film photography, digital photography, lomography, film, grad trip, yoga classes, course registration for the next semester (no kidding), basically, anything but things related to my exams.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Gags.

I’m not sure if it’s the effect of the medicine I’ve been taking over the past 2 months (or slightly less). 8 trips to the doctor and 3 rounds of anitbiotics, no less. I have a feeling my body is addicted to medicine. Not addicted in that drug sense but yknw, developed some sort of dependency on the medicine to stay well.

Like I said, I always only post when I am too stressed/bored/during exams/on holiday. Two more days and I’ll be done with half of my exams. Looking forward to brunches, film photography, wardrobe planning for the pseudo-grad trip, clearing the wardrobe, flea dates and three weeks of absolutely guilt-free time wasting before I start work. And believe it or not, I am looking forward to work. This time, I really mean it and it’s not because I’m going to the US for a month. Speaking of which, I really miss being in Illinois, being an awkward Asian in an American family, living the American life.

See, I don’t understand why I always have so much to say when I’m supposed to be putting my brain cells to better use churning out essays on earnings management, decision usefulness, efficient markets and accounting regulations.

Peace out xx